


Steel Bars and Broken Hearts

by ZacharyCupcakeDempsey (arcanesupernova)



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Drug Use, Everyone's over 18 because I said so, F/M, Girls being catty, I don't know what even are tags I just... whateven, Post Juvie, Rumor Mill, angst for the sake of angst, just tell me if I need to add anything more, what even is that summary
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-15
Packaged: 2020-02-29 23:17:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18788275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcanesupernova/pseuds/ZacharyCupcakeDempsey
Summary: Reader and Zach have been best friends since elementary school. One fateful night ends with you in juvie and him with a guilt he’ll never be able to fully reconcile. You’re out now and its time to pick up the pieces of your broken life, and heart.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ORIGINAL POST A/N:  
> Sup. I know its been awhile blah blah blah, but I was serious about that series so here we are. PLEASE tell me what you think so far, once I’ve posted this I’m going to start on part two so maybe I’ll have another part in a day or so. It all depends. I’m trying to keep a little bit of a mystery element alive, so I’m not saying what reader is locked up for and her and Zach are not going to be on best terms for a bit.

“Do you think that you will be compelled to commit the same crimes that you were arrested for once you are set free?” The man from the state asked you. You’d been to your fair share of court hearings but this one was the most important. This one was the difference between being constantly under surveillance and being free.

“No, your Honor.” You replied, doing your best to keep your tone calm.

“And do you think you would relapse back into your drug use?” He asked plainly, not even looking up from his paper.

“No, your Honor.” You replied again, this time through gritted teeth. It had been almost five years and still no one believed you that you weren’t a drug addict. You just resigned yourself to the label now, although there was one person you knew of that knew the truth, and you were going to find him the second you could.

“Well Ms. (Y/L/N), you’ve been a model inmate during your time in your detention center. It is my recommendation that your recorded be sealed so as to not hinder your future. I can only hope that the example you’ve presented over the past five years is indicative of your future.” Your heart raced with excitement as the judge brought down his gavel. “Adjourned.”

You turned, eyes brimming with the happiest of tears, to your mother. She had her hand on her face, eyes also brimming with tears at the news. It was her love that got you through the past five years and now you were finally going home with her.

~

Your room didn’t look any different, save for your rifled through belongings. You could tell your mom tried to put things back where they should’ve been but there were still some things disheveled. You ran your fingers over the small stuffed black cat on your bed before a real life one hopped up on your bed to greet you.

“Hey buddy.” You murmured at the cat, scratching him behind his ears. “I missed you, did you miss me?” The cat purred in response nuzzling into your hand before arching onto his back legs to move up to your torso.

“Talon really missed you.” Your mom said from behind you, startling you. You picked the cat up and hugged him gently, your soul calmed by the rhythmic purring. “I have to get back to work but I have a phone for you out in the kitchen. Call me if you need anything ok?” You nodded and your mom watched you for a moment. “Now that it’s over, will you answer me? Did you do it?”

“Mom, I…” You started.

“I know, I know, it was an accident you’re sorry. But I knew you better than yourself. You wouldn’t want to anything like that unless you were trying to protect someone.” She insisted. You want to tell her the truth but for now you couldn’t. You shook your head slowly but said nothing else. She nodded thoughtfully before kissing your cheek and departing. Once you heard her car pull out of the driveway you ventured out into the kitchen to find the new phone she bought for you.

After some minor difficulties, you were finally able to get the device up and running.  **1:37** . The clock read. Anxiety wracked your body as you returned to your room to change out of your court clothes. School let out around 2:30 and if you were lucky, practice would be after. You opened your closet surprised to find clothes of your size with tags still attached amongst the clothes from your adolescence. Your mother truly was an angel in disguise. You grabbed fresh clothes and a towel and headed for the shower.

The bathroom, unlike your room, had changed but you were still able to locate everything you needed. If you were honest, you were a little more than excited at the prospect of taking a private shower with shampoo  _ and  _ conditioner. You almost didn’t want to leave the warmth but you only had a short amount of time to work with. After drying off and getting dressed, you blow dried your hair and tried to remember how to do your makeup. Once you were satisfied with your appearance, you cleaned up the mess you’d made in the bathroom. You checked your phone again.  **2:07** . You pulled a bag from your closet and dumped a couple essentials into it before making your way to the front door. You pause for a moment to look over the living room you hadn’t seen in almost five years. Everything  _ seemed _ the same but some minute details glared out at you. The pictures of your father were gone for one. He seemed hard pressed on your guilt while your mother was certain you were innocent. They divorced after you’d been in juvie about a year. Feeling anger heating your cheeks you take a deep breath and pull the door open, opting to leave the bad memories for later.

~

Walking up to that school was like a kick in the gut. Watching as a handful of students trickled out, a ball of nerves started squirming in your gut. A part of you told you to just leave, forget all this and just start over but you knew if you didn’t confront this head on, it would eat you up inside. You kept your head down as you headed toward the football field. Remembering the tour of campus your eighth grade class took, you’re stunned to see how much the field had blossomed. Back then it was nothing more than a set of metal bleachers and a fence around decorated grass but now it was almost a full blown stadium. A placard on the scoreboard told you everything you needed to know.  **Walker Field** . Bryce.

The bell rang, waking you from your thoughtful stupor and you hastily duck out of sight as kids pour out of school. You watch from behind the bleachers as you see faces you would recognize if it hadn’t been years since you’d seen them. One face however take your breath away. A tall lean boy with an easy smile that took your breath away and watered your eyes even from a hundred feet away. He stood with a smaller guy with heartbreak eyes and a blonde guy who didn’t quite seem to fit in with them. He wasn’t the only one you didn’t recognize. Your heart started racing as the boys seemed to say their goodbyes and the blonde went toward the parking lot and the other two headed for the field. There was nowhere you could really go but deeper under the bleachers. You watched as the dropped their bags on the sideline bench. You could hear them now and you listened to the heartbreak-eyed boy talk about a party later tonight. Once you heard his voice you recognized him as Justin Foley. Justin left to change and you knew it was now or never. Sliding from behind the bleachers, you steadied your breath and walked toward the boy who shattered your heart into a million pieces. You almost lose your nerve as you watch him smile down at his phone but he spots you out of the corner of his eye and you watch his look go from confusion to anguish.

“Hi Zach.” Your entire body is trembling as you speak, unable to speak any louder than a whisper.

“(Y/N).” He fumbled your name, but quickly regained his composure. “I didn’t know you were getting out today.”

“Yup.” You nod. “Happy birthday to me.” You laugh hollowly. He nods slowly before smiling up at the sky. You stand together awkwardly before you continue. “I’m sorry, I just wanted to see you. See how you were doing anyway.” You tell him, adjusting the bag on your shoulder. “I’ll see you around, okay?” You start walking back across the field home.

“(Y/N), wait, please.” Zach said, finally moving toward you. “Could, could I call you sometime? I’ve been really worried about you.” He asked, reaching for his phone.

“Uhm, yeah, I guess.” You mutter, pulling out yours. After exchanging numbers, you finally part, adrenaline coursing through your veins. You feel the phone buzz in your pocket; pulling it out you find a two word text from a boy who owed you so many more.

“ **I’m sorry.** ”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ORIGINAL POST A/N:  
> WHEE FOR FOLLOWING THROUGH. This is a bit shorter and more focused on setting a scene so to speak (ngl, I like writing series a lot better. One shots are fun but I like having a ongoing story arch, even if its just me being coy with what reader did)

You looked up at the stars, letting them give you a sense of peace in a world that felt like absolute chaos. It had been three days since you saw Zach and he hadn’t texted you once since he told you he was sorry. Part of you blamed yourself for never responding but you didn’t know what to say. He said all he was going to.

“(Y/N), come inside!” Your mother called from the porch. “Dinner’s ready!” Your heart leapt with joy as you hurried inside. All chaos aside, eating your mother’s cooking was seriously the best part of your day. After years of prison food, every drop of food was cleaned from the dishes by the time you were done, much to your mother’s excitement. “So have you looked around town for any jobs?” She asked you, watching you savor your food. You take your time chewing before answering. To be perfectly honest, you hadn’t even left the house since you went to see Zach, instead getting yourself reacclimated with the internet and trying to remember all your old passwords.

“I’ll be honest Mom, I haven’t, but I promise you I’ll go out tomorrow.” You assure her, earning you a stern look. “I hope GEDs aren’t as terrible as all those college promoters made them sound like.” You sigh.

“Are you interested in going to college?” She asks you, taking a sip of her wine. You shrug halfheartedly.

“I don’t know what I want to do with my life.” You admit sadly setting down your fork and knife. “Maybe a trade skill would be better. They like hardened criminals, right?” You joke hollowly.

“You’re not a criminal.” She assures you harshly, glaring at you over the table. “I don’t know why you let your life get ruined the way you did but I know you and I know you would’ve never done something like that of your own volition.” Your eyes start to tear up, but she takes a steading breath. “A trade could be a very good idea. Anything you’re thinking about?” You shrug again and she sighs. “What about beauty school. You used to love learning about hair and makeup.” You raise your eyebrow in surprise, genuinely thinking it over.

“I’ll think about it.” You tell her with a smile. If you could be honest with her, you couldn't think of your life until all of this was settled. To her, it had been settled the minute you walked out of that courtroom a free woman but you had unfinished business with one Zach Dempsey. Until that was finally over, you couldn’t even think that far into the future.

You excused yourself from the table, thanking your mother and clearing some dishes as you go. When you finally escaped into your room, you pulled your phone out and stared at the screen. Your phone drifted to the phone icon, but you opted to check Instagram instead. You found yourself on Zach’s page, and after a creeper status had been fully instated, you were done scrolling through four years worth of pictures you’d missed being in, you found yourself moving over to the tagged pictures. You clicked on the first one and found a small album from the night before. The caption on the bottom read “ _Great time with these guys oh and that one sorry sad fuck in the background._ ” It had been posted by Bryce Walker and featured pictures of what you assumed to be the football team and Zach, who’s smile seemed less easy this time around.

You hit the home button and dropped the phone on your bed, irritated. You stalked off into your bathroom, splashing water on your face to calm you down. You picked the phone up and went right to contacts, your thumb hovering over the contact called “Z”. You took a breath and pressed the button, your heart racing as the line trilled. Three trills rang before the line picked up and you heard him speak.

“Hello?” He answers. “(Y/N)?”

“Hey.” You mumble into the phone. “H-How are you?” You ask hesitantly.

“I’m good I guess.” He tells you unconvincingly. “How are you?”

“I’m okay.” Awkward silence falls between you again, unable to think of the words to speak. “So you’ll have to catch me up on the past five years. What’s been going on?” You ask, trying to sound casual but falling at it.

“Uh, yeah it’s been great.” He stammers awkwardly. The tension between the two of you is palpable. “I’m the star of the basketball team. You must’ve taught me everything I know.” He laughs. Memories of spending the summers playing basketball together flood your mind and you feel tears build up in your eyes.

“I guess I’m always helping you.” You tell him, voice wavering. As you clear your throat, you hear a sudden knocking at your door. Your mom opens the door swiftly after and swoops in proudly.

“I had an idea -” She starts to say before she sees the phone in your hand. “Who are you talking to?” She asks cautiously.

“Its, um…” You stammer, completely caught off guard. “It’s Zach.” You tell her finally, wincing from the angry look forming on your mother’s face.

“(Y/F/N) I don’t want you talking to that boy.” She tells you angrily, pulling the phone out of your hand and holding it up to her ear. “You hear that Zachary? Stay away from my daughter before you ruin her life even more.” She angrily pressed the end call button before turning on you. “I want you to stay away from that boy. I know he had something to do with it, I don’t need him mucking up your life anymore.” She tells you sternly.

“I’m sorry Mom. I wasn’t doing anything wrong.” You assure her weakly. “I just, I needed to talk to him.”

“About what?” She asks harshly. “I know you threw away everything for that idiot and now he’s left you to pick up the pieces. What could you possibly have to say to him?”

“I don’t know Mom! He was my best friend. I loved him!” You explode, both of you surprised at your words. Her expression quickly shifted to steel as she narrowed her eyes at you.

“Well you’re just going to have to let him go.” She tells you coldly. “This family has been through enough without you welcoming more drama back into it. I’ve supported you through all of this. Do not make me regret my choices.” With a final cold look she sweeps from the room leaving you to cry alone.

~

You wake the next morning, still fully clothed, to the alarm blaring on your phone. You’re surprised to find your small quilt draped over you. Your entire body ached from the uncomfortable position you fell asleep in and you groaned as you stretched. You contemplated just drifting back to sleep but knew you had to find some kind of work before your mother had another meltdown. Thinking of the previous night brought fresh tears back into your eyes even though you were convinced you had none left to cry. You resigned yourself to going out in public, grabbing things you’d need to get a shower.

You were greeted by a small muffin on the counter when you were done with your shower with a hand scrawled note resting against the plate. “ _I love you sweetheart. Talk about it tonight when I get home? Love, Mom._ ” Not looking forward to another argument, you sigh but pick the muffin up, biting into it hungrily. You grab your purse and head for the front door, mentally preparing yourself for the walk ahead of you. You put your headphones in and head for town, hoping for the best.

You fill out a couple applications and get directed to a few online based ones. Grumbling to yourself you walk into the last stop on your tour of the town, the small Cafe Monet’s. You ask the barista for an application, and order a coffee. You fall into a booth and groan as you look over the applications. Realizing it was thicker than the average application, you find its four pages, front and back. Sighing, you flip back to the first page, flexing your fingers for their most strenuous workout yet.

You hear the bell over the door tinkle for what felt like the fiftieth time and you didn’t even bother looking up. It wasn’t until you heard a laugh that made your stomach drop that your eyes quickly shot around the small room. You couldn’t find him immediately but you held your breath to listen for him.

“Zachy my boy! I have got to get you hooked up with one of Chloe’s friends!” You hear Bryce Walker say loudly. You hear a small girlish giggle before a girl ordered from the barista.

“I do okay on my own Bryce.” Zach tells him flatly.

“What’s wrong Zachy? Got your eye on a little bird already?” Bryce asks him teasingly.

“I mean not really.” Annoyance grew in Zach’s tone. “I just don’t have time for a girlfriend right now.”

“Are you sure?” Bryce asks. “I could’ve sworn there was a little bird fluttering around you the other day. A rare species around these parts.”

“Would you just get to the point?” Zach sighed.

“I just heard about the little jailbird getting out of her cage.” Bryce shrugged. “Heard she came to see you at school.”

“There’s nothing going on between (Y/N) and I.” Zach told Bryce flatly. “She just wanted to apologize for what happened back then.”

“As she should. It was her fault she got caught. If she hadn’t stayed behind she would’ve been fine.” Bryce said, accusation thick in his tone.

“Look just drop it. She never ratted any of us out for it.” Zach reminded him. “She’s out of our lives now and she’s not coming back.” He told him coldly, but you swore you heard a twinge of sadness in his voice. Taking his advice, however, Bryce changed the subject to the game on Saturday and you tuned out.

You waited in the booth until they left before dropping of the application and leaving. It hurt to hear him say you were no longer a part of his life because the truth in the words. In a way you thought, maybe things could go back to the way things were. Maybe the things leading up to that night could start over. But after listening to cool way he spoke of you you knew that could never happen now. You pushed the door to the cafe open as tears started to sting your eyes. You heard laughter from down the sidewalk and you knew if you dared look over that you would see Zach and his friends and if you were honest you couldn’t bear the sight. Still, you glanced over to see them laughing amongst themselves. You caught Zach’s eye for a moment and for a moment he seemed to move toward you but thought better of himself. He turns his attention back to his friends leaving you feeling emotionally raw and completely heartbroken.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ORIGINAL POST A/N:  
> This one isn’t so much about Zach, its just setting a tone for the people around they’re small town (does anyone know where they’re actually located? Like. Any kind of canon town name?) I’m starting p4 as soon as this is posted because it kind of ends on a cliffhanger kinda.

It was a week before you received a call from any of the numerous applications you’d put in. You were surprised that it came from Monet’s since you hadn’t exactly put much effort into it. Still, within a couple days, you were a fully fledged member of the Monet’s family. It was through your new job that you were able to reconnect with Skye, although she wasn’t like you remembered her at all. Skye had become a outright goth girl, complete with an excessive amount of tattoos and piercings. She was still the same girl, despite her outward appearance and the first person, aside from your mother, who seemed happy to see you.

Once you were able to get the hang of the coffee making world, you were surprised to find how much you truly enjoyed it. It was busy work sure, but it took your mind off your problems, and more importantly it was effective at keeping your mind off Zach. You had been keep your promise to your mom. You hadn’t called or texted him since your last encounter and it had been three full days since you checked in on his social media. Still, sometimes when you were focusing on whatever caffeine concoction the patrons of that fine establishment ordered, you would hear a laugh, one that made your stomach drop. You would look around for him but he was never actually there. It was starting to make you feel the slightest bit crazy. 

“Are you doing anything after work tonight?” Skye asks you about an hour before the end of your shift. You sigh, thinking of the mountain of financial aid paperwork your mother had waiting at home for you.

“I’m supposed to go home and fill out future changing paperwork, why?” You ask, lightly sipping your mug of tea. That was another great perk to Monet’s, all you could drink of brewed coffee and tea.

“I was thinking we could hang out somewhere that didn’t reek of beans.” She offers. “Hell I could help out if you wanted.”

“That sounds great.” You smile warmly. “It’ll probably help my mom feel better if I don’t look like a complete recluse.”

“It’s a date.” She grins happily before groaning to herself. “Oh great, here comes Chloe and her goon squad.” You look up to see a petite blonde approaching the counter. “Take this one for me, I have to go do something that doesn’t involve dead brain cells.” You glare quickly at her as she disappears into the kitchen before reverting to a smile to greet the perky blonde.

“Welcome to Monet’s, what can I get for you.” You ask politely. The girl’s eyes look you up and down, a smug look of disgust tickling her rosy cheeks.

“You know, I didn’t know that Monet’s was in the habit of hiring drug addicts.” She said lightly, earning a giggle from the girls with her.

“I don’t think that’s on the menu.” You reply blandly, uninterested in whatever bullying they had to offer. “Are you going to order something or did you just come in here to harass me?”

“Won’t Zach be glad to know to avoid this place like the plague now.” She continues, laughing softly. Once you hear her laugh, you immediately recognize her as the girl Zach and Bryce had come in with last week. Your gaze narrows at your realization and what little bit of patience you had left evaporates.

“If that’s what he wants, then sure.” You tell her, irritated. “Now, either order something or go.” Chloe smiles coldly but finally places her orders. You’re relieved when they walk away from the counter, turning to start their order. Deep down, you want to mess with the order but you hold your head up high, knowing that’s exactly what they’d expect. Your victory would just have to come from the knowledge that they’d never really know for sure.

“Thanks a million.” Chloe says smugly as you hand her her drink. “See girls, the only good drug is caffeine.” She giggles to herself, lingering a dirty look on you before finally leaving. You maintain your smile as they leave, groaning as soon as the door closed behind them.

“Bitch forgot chocolate.” An amused voice says behind you. You turn to see Skye glaring at the door. You give her a confused look and she rolls her eyes. “She said caffeine was the only good drug. I know that bitch gets mocha’s and according to scientific studies, it has similar effect on the body. I’m just saying, technically she’s wrong.” You can’t resist letting a giggle slip as you stare incredulously at Skye.

“You know what? You’re absolutely right.” You nod turning your back to the door. You groan again as you look up at the clock, dismayed to see you still had another half hour left. “Longest half hour in the world.” You grumble to yourself, pulling out your phone quickly to cement your feeling of dread.

“Yeah, but once we get out of here, we’re going to go fill out mountains of future changing paperwork.” Skye rejoiced, voice filled with faux excitement.

“Hey, you invited yourself into my world of pain.” You remind her, grimacing.

“I didn’t mean it to sound like a bad thing. I’m just trying to look at things a little bit more positively.” She confesses.

“Clay?” You ask, eyebrow raised. She nodded, averting her gaze becoming rapidly interested in the branding on the coffee filters. You knew about her boyfriend and while you vaguely remembered him from middle school, you were glad someone was there for Skye. You smile to yourself. “Good.”

~

“Oh my goodness, Skye!” Your mother exclaimed as you reintroduced the two. “I barely recognized you.” You were worried she would think you were falling into the wrong crowd again, given Skye’s current appearance but as of right now, the beaming smile currently spreading across your mother’s face gave you a slight peace of mind.

“Hey Mrs. (Y/L/N).” Skye says sheepishly, tucking her hair behind her ear. Her eyes flicked over to you and you smiled again, trying to offer some sort of comfort. “You’re looking really good.” She tells her smiling awkwardly again.

“Well I have my baby again. They always say having a baby gives you a certain kind of glow.” She turns her beaming smile to you. Feeling your emotions taking over, you quickly wipe away the moisture from your eyes and excuse yourself.

You head to your bathroom, sliding your phone out of your pocket to take your mind off of things, but you’re surprised when you see a text from the contact labeled “Z”.

“ **Hey, sorry about Chloe, are you okay?** ”

You roll your eyes. “ **What are you talking about?** ” You didn’t want to exactly give him what he wanted, wondering quietly if he was just texting you to further Chloe’s victory.

“ **She told Bryce about seeing you at Monet’s.** ” Another text read about thirty seconds later.

“ **If you think anything she says is going to bother me, you never really knew me at all.** ” You lie through text. You told yourself you didn’t care, but you knew deep down that you did. The fact that people not as vocal as her probably thought that way about you irked you. But no one could know the truth, you’d hadn’t gone through hell for nothing.

“ **Can I see you?** ” His reply read. Your breath hitches in your throat. Your eyes flick to the door, and you listen to the laughter in the kitchen coming from your mother and Skye. You focus back onto the phone, breathing rapidly. Your fingers tremble as you type out a response.

“ **Midnight.** ”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ORIGINAL POST A/N:  
> Happy birthday to me apparently means happy birthday to you. Not sure if anyone is still interested in this, but here we go anyway. Sorry if it sucks.

You nervously check your phone for the umpteenth time. It was now 12:14 and you hadn’t heard from Zach since he told you he was leaving his house. Logic told you he could have gotten caught up with something, but that little voice in the back of your mind told you this was all too convenient. You took a steading breath and slid your phone in your pocket just as it vibrated.

“ **Sorry I’m late, I parked down the street so your mom wouldn’t see my car.** ” Zach’s text read. You centered yourself before sliding your window open, trying not to remember what happened the last time you found yourself sneaking out your window to meet him. You crept through the bushes and he flashes his headlights. Your heart races as you approach the car, nervously giggling as he climbs out of his car. You steady yourself again, holding your head high as you approach him.

“Hey.” He says awkwardly. For a moment, the two of you stand in silence, looking everywhere but at each other. “So…” He starts, breaking the tension. “How do you like Monet’s?”

You shrug non committedly. “It’s alright.” You tell him. “I expect it’ll only get worse from here out now that Chloe knows I’m working there.” You confess.

“Chloe just feels the need to prove herself.” Zach tells you flatly. “She and Bryce just got together a month or so ago and she feels the need to fit in, and that involves trying to bully people that Bryce doesn’t like.” He sighs, annoyed.

“That’s fucking stupid.” You spat and he holds his hands up in surrender.

“I know. I keep trying to tell her to back off but that seems to egg her on even more.” He sighs again. Irritated silence falls between you. You have so much you want to say to him, but you don’t even know where to start. “Do you wanna get out of here for a little while?” He asks shyly. A smile forces itself across your face and you nod quickly. He jogs around to the passenger side of his car and opens the door for you.

“Oh how gentlemanly of you.” You scoff, climbing into the car.

“Oh I didn’t do it for you, I can’t have your rough and tough criminal mind hurting my baby.” He chuckles, not registering the offense you took. You steady yourself, reminding yourself that Zach’s just an idiot and didn’t mean anything by it. You’re distracted as the engine roars to life and Zach speeds away from your house.

The two of you drove for awhile, not really saying anything but you couldn’t help but feeling peaceful at his side, just like old times. It ached your chest to think about how it probably could never be that way again but as you glanced up and saw a small smile on his face as he peaked over at you, you couldn’t fight the small blossom of hope in your chest. You watched Zach from the corner of your eye as he appeared to the same to you. As the two of you continued to exchange glances, the smile on your face grew and before long you began giggling.

“What’s the matter Dempsey? Don’t you know to keep your eyes on the road?” You laugh when you finally surrender to letting him catch you looking at him. 

“Well when I have an absolute legend sitting in the seat next to me, it’s hard to look away.” He admits, slowing the car down to pull into a parking lot. You’re surprised when you look up to see your favorite fast food restaurant’s drive thru lined up in front of you.

“Seriously? You remembered?” You ask, flabbergasted. He raises his eyebrow in surprise, eyeing you warily.

“Was I supposed to forget?” He asked, genuinely confused. “I’ve been going by this place almost everyday for the past 5 years and all I can do is think about you.” He pauses, nervously. “I was going to write to you, but every time I sat down to do it I couldn’t think of what to say.” He laughs nervously. “I’m pretty sure a letter consisting of ‘I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry’ would’ve just come across as creepy as hell.” His admission made your heart race, and it seemed to have the same effect on him. Silence fell over you two again as he pulled through. He ordered for the two of you, surprising you again by remembering your usual order. You’d have to remind yourself to give him a little more credit. Sure, he may be dumb, but he was also sweet and considerate. Once food had been collected he peeled out of the parking lot and headed for the beach.

“So what did you mean by the legend earlier?” You ask him before biting into your burger.

“Oh, I don’t know.” Zach smirks at you. “There’s not a single person who has forgotten about you. In fact, you’re a story told to all the new kids.” He tells you proudly. Your eyes narrow at the information.

“Great. So people who don’t even know me think the worst of me.” You mutter under your breath, annoyed.

“Eh, at this point only a couple people know the full story anymore, and that’s if they even tell the truth.” Zach says bitterly. “The story as it goes right now is there was a wild party and you were the one who insured that everyone got fucked up.” He shrugs. “Most people are under the assumption that it was just alcohol.”

You press your fingertips to the bridge of your nose, sighing with annoyance. “I mean, I suppose it could be worse.” You breathe finally.

“Most people don’t want to accuse you of having drugs because that would cast a bad light on them as well.” Zach explains. Silence fills the space between you, both unsure of what to say. “I’m sorry about everything.” Zach murmurs, looking out over the water. “I would’ve taken my share of the blame but -”

“It was too late.” You interrupt, trying to stop the train of emotion threatening you. “Bryce and his lawyer pinned it all on me. There was nothing you could do except go down with me.” Despite yourself, tears streak down your cheeks. You quickly wipe them away, clearing your throat, earning you a glance from Zach.

“I wish I could fix everything.” He laments. “You ruined your life for me and my idiotic friends.” He mutters angrily. “You didn’t even want anything to do with it. I dragged you there.” Anger seems to propel him to his feet and he starts pacing. 

“To be fair Zach, following you didn’t take much prying.” You admit sheepishly. You stand up, grabbing his wrist and pulling him to face you. “I don’t blame you. I don’t blame anyone anymore.” You assure him, looking up into his eyes. Your heart races as he looks down at you, finding the same familiar eyes that brought you so much peace. “I was in love with you Zach. I would’ve followed you anywhere.”

His look of surprise stuns you but whatever he was going to say is interrupted by loud honking and headlights pulling in next to Zach’s car.

“Zachy! The fuck are you doing out here man?” Bryce Walker called down to him. Once he saw you standing there, standing so close to Zach, you could hear the smirk in his tone. “Oh. Caught that bird you’d been eyeing did you?” He laughed smugly at Zach. Zach tore his arm from your grip, taking a step away from you.

“It’s not like that Bryce.” He shouts, shielding his eyes from the headlights.

“Sure looks like that to me.” Bryce replies and even though you can’t see him for the lights, you can feel his eyes looking you over.

“It’s not. (Y/N) and I were just talking.” Zach tells him, stepping in front of you, trying to shield you from his best friend.

“I just want the best for you Zachy.” Bryce tells his best friend threateningly. “Being seen with a known criminal might be detrimental to college scouts.”

“You know she saved my ass Walker.” Zach roars. “Just leave her alone, and tell Chloe to leave her alone.” You can’t see Bryce, but you can only guess the annoyance he was feeling.

“You know what Zach, get your jollies off with her so you can clear your head and then come talk to me.” Bryce says shortly. You hear the gravel fly from under the SUVs tires as Bryce peels out of the parking lot. Zach turns to look at you, trying to find some kind of words to offer comfort. It’s your turn to move away from him, realizing how terribly convenient all this was.

“Just take me home.” You tell him hollowly.

“(Y/N) I’m sorry. I don’t know why he showed up here.” Zach pleads with you.

“Take me home,” you repeat, “or I will walk home. Your choice.”

Zach hangs his head in defeat and walks back to his car. The ride home is silent, save for the radio. He tries to speak again as he pulls onto your street, but the moment the car stops, you’re quick to climb out, completely disregarding his cries for you to just talk to him. Once you’re finally back in your room, you climb into your bed and the tears finally start to fall. You feel your phone buzz in your pocket and despite your better judgement you pull it out to read the message.

“ **I never stopped loving you, (Y/N).** ”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ORIGINAL POST A/N  
> Wheee~! This part deals with what reader remembers from that night. As always, there’s more than one side to every story. (special shoutout to @in-my-dreams-2000 [who i cannot seem to tag] because her comment actually was the kick in the ass I need to finish this one. ♥)

The night quickly turned into morning without you getting a wink of sleep. You couldn’t stop staring at his text. You couldn’t stop replaying the night in your head. You couldn’t stop plotting the death of Bryce Walker. You resigned yourself to lie in your bed until you either fell asleep or you had to get up for work. You were grateful for the closing shifts you seemed to keep getting but you were trying not to think about the extreme dread of going in. If Chloe was going to casually harass you for just existing, you knew she’d try to make your life hell now. What in the hell were you thinking? Did you really think you could re-enter Zach’s life painlessly? Did you think it was going to simple?

Your resignation to your bed was interrupted by your mother shouting at someone outside. You peaked through through your curtains to see Zach still parked in front of your house where you left him the previous night. Unfortunately, despite what you were sure were his best efforts, your mother spotted him on her way to work. You quickly went into your bathroom, splashing water on your face to clean the streaked makeup off of your face. You pulled the front door open swiftly, thankfully interrupting your mother’s rant.

“(Y/N), what is he doing here?” She bellowed, turning her rage on you. “I told you I didn’t want you to see him. He’s the reason your life is like this now! Are you going to just let him ruin it more?”

“Mom, please stop.” You cry weakly, surprised you were able to produce any more tears. “Please just stop.” You can’t bring yourself to look at Zach, so you focus your attention on her. “Zach can’t ruin my life.” You assure her. “I learned my lesson from before. We just have unfinished business.”

“You be sure to see its finished.” She tells you coldly. “I can’t handle anything else, you hear me? While you’re under my roof, you won’t see him.”

“Mom, I’m an adult now.” You remind her with a croak. “I can just leave. I don’t want to, but I need you to trust me.”

Your mother regards you coldly, but says nothing else before she climbs into her car and pulls away. You turn your gaze over to Zach, narrowing your eyes at him.

“What are you still doing here?” You ask him, annoyance seeping into your tone.

“We have unfinished business.” He parrots your own words back to you. You sigh, and head for your front door, turning to make sure he was following you. He quickly climbs out of his car, hurriedly following you inside. You close the door behind the two of you, finding it hard to believe he was actually here, in your house. 

“I’ll ask again.” You start, trying to keep your tone even. “Why are you still here?”

“I’ve spent the past five years missing the shit out of you.” He tells you simply. “I stayed away to make life easier for both of us at first, but seeing as that didn’t work…” You roll your eyes and walk into the kitchen, desperate for something to take your mind off of your chaotic life. Food seemed to be the best idea for the time being.

“So since I can’t help but bring absolute chaos into your life, you just decided to embrace it?” You ask in disbelief. “Despite all better judgement?”

“I love you (Y/N).” He tells you earnestly. Your heart aches at his words, having waited what felt like an eternity to hear them. You move closer to him, surveying his face for any trace of a lie but unsurprisingly, you find none. He pulls you into his embrace, holding you tightly. “I love you so much (Y/N). I’ve loved you since we were 10 years old.” He murmurs in your ear, causing tears to fall from your eyes. “It broke my heart to lose you. I was certain you hated me.” He admits softly. You pull away from his embrace gently to look up into his eyes. You find them wet, and he sniffles, pulling away to wipe his eyes clear. You watch him tenderly, lapping up the paradise of finally having this all out in the open. You open your mouth to assure him of the same, but his phone ringing interrupts him. He clears his throat to answer. “Hey Mom. Yeah, I’m sorry. I should’ve called. I’m okay. Just stayed over at Bryce’s for the night.” He lies easily. You quietly move away from him, busying yourself with making coffee for the two of you. “I don’t know Mom.” He says frustrated into the phone. “Maybe sometime this afternoon?” You watch as he listens intently. “May is old enough to - Mom.” He sighs inwardly as you listen to the barrage of yelling in his ear. “I’ll be home by noon.” He tells her defeated. “Alright, I love you too.” He lets out a sigh of relief as he presses the end call button.

“How is May?” You ask, trying to fight back a grin of amusement. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head in response. “If you need to go, I have to work tonight anyway. I could see you after.” You suggest lightly. 

“I’ve got time.” He says simply. “Mom just needs me to be home to take May to her piano lesson. I think she’s old enough to walk by herself but she fervently disagrees.”

“People are crazy.” You remind him lightly, pouring your coffee. The heat of the mug assures to you that this isn’t just a dream. Zach sighs, trying to force the sleep away from his eyes.

“What are we going to do about your Mom?” He asks wearily.

“We?” You ask surprised.

“How are we going to explain to her that I’m not the devil she seems to think I am?” He elaborates.

You’re silent as you sip your coffee thoughtfully. “She’s not going to forgive you. Not unless I tell her what really happened.” You sigh.

“She doesn’t know?” He asks surprised. You stare at him for a moment before slowly shaking your head no. “Why haven’t you told her?”

Your mind drifts sleepily back to that night almost six years ago that changed your life forever.

_ “(Y/N), are you coming or what?” Zach whispered to you as you finish changing. “Your parents are going to hear us out here if you don’t hurry up.” _

_ “Well then shut up Zachy.” You tell him flatly. Your heart was racing as you climbed out of your window, landing quietly before Zach grabs your hand. You stifle a nervous giggle as your eyes lock briefly, before creeping away from your house. When you finally reach the alley, you remember to breathe. Excitement bubbles over as you giggle, looking Zach over. He still hasn’t let go of your hand as the two of you flee down the alley, headed to Bryce Walker’s house. _

_ You were greeted with loud music when you and Zach got there. Justin Foley greeted you at the door with a loud howl at the sight of Zach. You frowned when Zach quickly released your hand but was quickly distracted when Kat tackled you in a hug. _

_ “(Y/N)! I can’t believe you came!” She smiled widely. Her eyes quickly found Zach and she smiled smugly. “Although, I suppose I can if I try hard enough.” Your cheeks flush as you playfully shove her. “Hey, be nice! It’s my birthday!” She exclaims. “Speaking of my birthday, come get a drink! Bryce was able to score some beer!” Your heart raced as she dragged you by the hand and you waved sadly to Zach. He watched you disappear wearing a smirk before turning back to talk to his friend. _

_ “Oh my god.” Kat says when she finally released you from her grip. You rub your wrist tenderly as she pulls the refrigerator open. “I cannot believe you came with Zach! Are you guys finally official? Have you kissed him yet? Tell me everything.” She hands you a red cup with amber liquid before taking a drink of her own.  _

_ “There’s not much to tell.” You dismiss, your cheeks flushing again. “We aren’t official. We haven’t kissed. I don’t think he likes me that way.” You tell her mournfully. _

_ “Oh shut up whatever! Zach is nuts for you.” She assures you. You smile as you take a small sip of your drink. You try to keep a neutral face but the taste disgusts you and you sit it down. “What about you and Bryce?” You ask with a smirk. _

_ “We’re dating!” She says excitedly. “He asked me before the party started. About goddamn time!” _

_ “You know it baby!” Bryce calls as he enters the kitchen. He scoops up his new girlfriend, kissing her deeply. Zach and Justin follow behind him grabbing their own drinks. “I got you something else for your birthday. Justy, if you would do the honors.” Justin awkwardly pulls a plastic baggy out of his pocket full of odd brown lumps. “Who wants to do some shrooms!?” Bryce calls, grabbing Kat and the bag from his friend. You follow the group into the living room, sitting around the table. You nervously look to Zach, who despite his relaxed demeanor met your gaze with a similar level of nerves. _

_ “You can thank my piece of shit stepdad for the evening's festivities.” Justin explains, sitting up on his knees. He divies the pieces between the five of you and despite one last fleeting glance to Zach, you begrudgingly ingest the hallucinogenic. The rest of the night flies by in a blur but the following morning you find yourself in a cold room being hassled by cops. They keep asking you where Kat is and no matter how hard you tried, you could not remember. They told you you were being accused of bringing drugs to the party. They wouldn’t listen to your insisting you didn’t. You don’t leave that cold room a free woman. _

“Zach, what would be the point of telling her? I don’t even remember what happened that night.” You tell him wearily. “I was too fucked up.” Zach watches you intently, as you take your cup of coffee and leave that conversation in the kitchen. You plop down on the couch, flipping on the tv. Zach hesitantly sits down next to you, but quickly all reservations let go as he inches closer to you. You rest your head on his shoulder, determinedly ignoring how good he smelled. The rhythm of his breathing lulls you to sleep, for the moment everything felt content in your world.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ORIGINAL POST A/N  
> Hey guys. Let’s not talk about the fact that this hasn’t had an update since September. It’s that time of year again and I know that 13RW will be coming back soon so I started a rewatch of the whole series and I swear the moment my beautiful angel Zach spoke I was like, yo, I need to write about this absolute angel. All of my thirstiness aside, here is the long awaited next part in this weird series that I started at the tail end of my writing for this show. I’m particularly proud of this one. I like the way I wrote it a lot. Self flagellation, aside, I really hope you like it. ^~^ Here’s hoping part seven doesn’t take another thirty years to get here.

You woke suddenly, quickly trying to wipe away the small pool of drool you had accidentally allowed to accrue on Zach’s shoulder, thanking whatever above that he was still out. The sun was out in full force now, brightly shining in the front windows, fully illuminating the peaceful face next to you. The haze of sleep was starting to wear off and you quickly yanked your phone from your pocket to check the time, relieved that it was only noon. Relaxing back into the couch, you couldn’t help but stare into the face next to you, unable to fully grasp the fact that you were actually sitting there next to him, let alone that you had actually fallen asleep all snuggled up with him. You longed to reach out and touch him again, convinced that this had to be a dream, that you actually had been able to fall asleep last night. But, pinch yourself as hard you can, there was no waking. This was your reality, but that didn’t erase the dreamlike feeling that was overwhelming you.

You spent a longer time than you would ever actually admit studying the small curves and lines of the sleeping boy next to you, and by the time he finally started stirring, you were sure that you could draw him from memory, if you even possessed that talent in the first place. Trying to ignore how creepy you were being, you quickly busied yourself with your phone, trying to act as innocently as possible to not clue him in to how much of a creep you were. 

“Hey.” He murmured, voice thick with sleep. “Shit, what time is it?” He asked, a tired panicked spreading over his once peaceful features.

“It’s only noon.” You tell him soothingly, relieved when he relaxes back onto the couch. 

“I didn’t even mean to fall asleep.” He said, a sleepy smile playing on his features. “I thought we were gonna talk and then I was gonna head back to school. I guess that plan’s busted now.” He shrugged. “Didn’t you say you had to work?” He said, light panic returning.

“Yeah, but I have closing tonight. I don’t go in until two.” You assure him. Yet again, he relaxes into the couch and this time a comfortable silence falls between you. It lasts awhile, before a dangerous thought crosses your mind. “What happens now?” You ask quietly, a note of fear threatening your composure. You don’t want to lose this. You don’t want this moment, this peaceful, blissful moment to ever end but sooner or later, you knew it would. You watched his expression as he considered the question, a sense of melancholy overtook your once peaceful moment, and you could feel the familiar twinge of heartbreak as the silence became tense and strained.

“I don’t know.” He said, his eyes no longer on you, focused in on his hands instead. He didn’t have to say it, but you knew what he was thinking. This was a pipe dream. Even though it was the least of your worries, your eyes welled with tears as you realized his mother would never approve of you, not with your track record. Zach looks up at you, startled by the sudden tears staining your cheeks. “Hey, hey, it’ll be okay.” He tries to assure you. “If you just tell your mom, that’ll be half the battle-”

“If I tell her, she’ll hate you more.” You say plainly, sniffling and wiping away the moisture around your eyes. You took a deep breath to steady yourself, feeling a sob building in the back of your throat. For the first time in a long time, you finally felt the wave of hopelessness washing over you. For the past five years, you’d steadied yourself with the thought of hope. You never gave up trying to fix what had gone wrong in your life because some large part of you thought somehow, the two of you would be able to work through all the bullshit, work through everything but now, when it came time to face that moment, you didn’t know what to do. You felt lost, and judging by the look on his face, he was feeling something similar. You reverted your eyes to your own hands, unable to watch him look so dismayed.

“We’ll figure it out.” He said, moving his hand over yours in consolation. “I just got you back. It may have gotten fucked up before, but I won’t let it happen again.” You brought your eyes up to look into his again, surprised to find a look of intense determination radiating in them. You wanted desperately to press your lips to him, to assure him somehow you wanted the same, but as you finally built up the nerve, as you started to lean in to press your lips on his, your alarm went off, alerting you it was time to get up for work. It felt like all the air was sucked out of the room and that time had completely stopped until the stock sound for alarms had rudely interrupted. Suddenly everything became real again, and the dream like state you had been living in shattered around you.

“I-I have to get ready for work.” You said, using all of your willpower to pull away from him. His face, for once is hard to read but you pull yourself off your couch, stretching all of your muscles, waiting for him to do the same. When he doesn’t, you turn back at him, raising an eyebrow surprised. He looks confused for a moment, before realization washes over him and he jumps up from the couch. 

“Yeah, I suppose I should probably get going soon.” He says, but the look in his eyes was begging you to let him stay. You nod, looking away to steel your resolve. “You want a ride?” He asked nervously. Your eyes flit to him before you can stop yourself and you watch as a devious smile played on his cheeks.

“Would this ride actual end up with me putting in my usual eight hours?” You ask, raising an eyebrow. You were grateful for this opportunity to lighten the mood. It was starting to feel like you could breathe again.

“Of course you would.” He replied, feigning offense.The smirk on his face betrayed him.

“I’m pretty sure Skye would kill me if I left her there alone tonight.” You called behind as you walked down the hallway to grab a towel for a shower. “Besides I’m getting in the shower, I can’t have you wandering around the house while I’m indisposed. That would be unladylike.” You re-emerged in the living room, this time the devious smirk playing on your cheeks.

“I will be nothing but gentlemanly.” He assured you raising three fingers. “Scouts honor.” You groaned loudly in response. 

“You have no Scouts honor because you were never a scout. We’ve been over this.” You insisted, laughing through the groan.

“We have been over this and the day it stops driving you so irrationally crazy is the day I’ll stop.” Zach told you, grinning from ear to ear now.

“It doesn’t drive me irrationally crazy!” You insist, voice cracking a bit, giving you away. “I just don’t think you should be calling on honor you have to party to. Next you’ll be calling for knights honor.”

“Oooh, that’s a good one, I’ll have to remember that.” He raised his eyebrows in excitement.

“No, not another one.” You groan, stalking off to your bedroom to grab your clothes for work. “I’m getting in the shower, if you wanna hang around and use your borrowed honors to behave, I’ll take that ride.” You concede, after checking the weather on your phone. It was almost 90 degrees out and you were not interested in taking another shower in the employee sink after your 20 minutes walk to work. You couldn’t help but smile as Zach beamed at you in response. He plopped himself back on your couch, busying himself with his phone again.

As the warm water cascaded around you, you occupied with bathing yourself and getting into mindset you reserved for work. You knew there was no way that work would get the usual seventy five percent of focus you gave them, not with the way your head was spinning even now. After rinsing your hair out, you turned the water off, toweling your hair off as much as possible before sliding the curtain open and letting the cool air of the rest of the bathroom swirl around you. Shivering you wrap the towel around you, drying your hands as much as possible before reaching for your hair dryer and plugging it in. You resumed your before work routine, blow drying your hair and styling your hair and applying your makeup. Once you were ready you emerged from the warmth of the bathroom, chilled by cold air of your air conditioning.

Looking up at from the couch in surprise, Zach genuinely looked surprised to see you. “I thought there was that whole stereotype of women taking forever in the shower or something.” He said, standing up to stretch again.

“Two things Zachary.” You started, tone harsh, but even. “Prison gives you habits and don’t believe stupid stereotypes about women made up by men.” You expected him to argue back about the validity of the stereotype but instead he raised his hands in surrender. You raised your eyebrow in suspicion but relent regardless. You head to the front door, Zach butting in front of you to open the door for you. You roll your eyes and smile, unable to resist the shit eating grin he was wearing. You wanted this to be real. You wanted this life to be the life you got to lead, forever. Everything with Zach was just… easy. You follow him to his car, contemplating the future and what you were going to tell your mom and what would happen when people gave him endless shit for caring about you at all.

But for now, for this private moment you shared as he opened your door again, shutting it behind you and going around to enter his side, this was yours. No one could take this sense of peace and ease from you and you knew you’d be damned if you’d let it slip away again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ORIGINAL POST A/N:
> 
> WOWEE WOW HERE’S ANOTHER PART. Also I’m on my second rewatch of the series for the month so safe to say I’m fucking addicted again so maybe updates will be regular? Who knows. We shall see. Anywhoooooo~~~ Do you think I should add smut into this? Like, I know it would probably be a good idea because well, Zach’s hot but I just wanted to through that out there see what people think. Anywho, enjoy. ♥

Work seemed to drag on forever. You thought having Skye there would distract you but you couldn’t stop watching the door, even though you knew he wouldn’t be coming through until your night was over. Skye noticed how distracted you were as you absentmindedly let the pitcher of water you were filling overflow for a couple seconds as you were lost in thought.

“(Y/N)! What are you doing? Pay attention!” She said, quickly turning the water off, breaking you from your reverie. You shook your head, still dazed as you flicked your hands in attempt to dry them off.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry.” You say, picking up a towel to dry your hands off fully.

“What’s going on with you today? You’ve been Neil Armstrong-ing it all day.” You looked at her with a confused look and she rolled her eyes in exasperation. “You’ve been a total space cadet.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t get much sleep last night.” You brush off, rubbing your eyes to fully sell it. It wasn’t completely a lie. You didn’t sleep at all, save for the couple hours you got with Zach. She eyed you suspiciously before sighing and dumping out some of the excess water from the pitcher. You watched her pour it into the drain to push the stray coffee beans down.

“What were you doing all night that kept you from your beauty sleep?” She asked absently. You shrugged as response and she narrowed her eyes at you. “Wait, you told me you were tired and kicked me out of your house by eleven because you were so tired.” You sighed, rubbing your eyes for real this time, trying to come up with some kind of cover when the blonde guy from the day you got out and a darker skinned girl approached the counter. You thanked the heavens for the distraction from Skye’s questioning as you walked over to take their order.

“Can I get a hot chocolate?” The girl asked simply, looking over the boy next to her. You punch the order in on the screen and look to the boy yourself.

“Let’s see, I think I’ll try the special. Seems particularly decadent.” He said, pulling out his wallet to pay. The two squabble about the girl paying for her own drink before the blonde kid smacks a twenty down on the counter, looks you square in the eye and calls dibs. You quickly grab the bill, causing the girl to huff and cross her arms across her chest, though a smile tickling her cheeks told you that she wasn’t completely upset with him. When you returned his change, he pour the coins and a dollar into the tip jar by the register and you noticed he hadn’t taken his eyes off of you. “Wait a minute, I know you.” He drew out, seeming to study your features. “You look so familiar.”

“I’ve just come back to town, so unless you lived here for over five years, it’s probably just coincidence.” You shrug, moving to start making their drinks.

“No, I’ve only been here for like three years, but I know your face.” He says, intently. You start to blush from the attention, unable to meet his gaze. You didn’t want to start advertising your past to everyone who thought they knew you. You watch realization dawn on the girls face, not realizing she had been staring too, except at your name tag. She smacked the blonde boy to shut him up. “What the fuck Jess?” He exclaimed.

“She’s (Y/N).” She told him quietly, making a face like he should’ve known.

“(Y/N)?” He asked confused. He looked at you again and his eyes widened. “Oh shit you’re Zach’s (Y/N)!” He said excitedly. You felt your heart stop for a moment thinking Zach had been running around bragging already. You ignored the part of you that would’ve been flattered regardless. Reading the stunned look you wore now he elaborated. “Zach used to tell me about you all the time. When I went through PT for my accident, we would talk about all kinds of shit, and you were a topic I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone.”

“So naturally he told me.” The girl called Jess told you plainly. “I’m Jessica, this is Alex. We’re friends of Zach’s.” She informed you. You eye them cautiously. Alex notices your apprehension and quickly puts two and two together.

“Not one of those friends.” Alex amends quickly and you can feel tension release from your shoulders that you weren’t entirely aware of until it was removed.

“I’m not Zach’s (Y/N).” You tell them sheepishly, trying to distance your public image from him as much as possible.

“I know that.” Alex said with more snip in his tone than you knew he meant. Jess smacked the back of her hand against his arm again. “Woman if you do not stop smacking me.” A smile formed at your cheeks before you could even stop yourself. “Glad someone’s amused.” He said when he caught your grin. “We should hang out sometime though. I would love to hear your side of some of these stories Zach’s been telling me.” He grinned at you.

“Wait a minute, you said you recognized my face. Did Zach like keep pictures of me around?” You asked, changing the topic quickly. It wasn’t that you didn’t like the idea of finding more friends, it just also wasn’t in your best interest to start making friends with people that thought they knew everything about you already.

“Not exactly. He posted a couple like collage pictures on instagram awhile back. His Mom got really mad and made him take them down because you were in them. She said it wasn’t ‘proper’ and could hurt his future.” Alex explained, rolling his eyes. Your heart sunk and you fought back the tears that were burning at your eyes.

“That makes sense I suppose.” You say quietly, so as to keep your tone even and keep your tears at bay.

“Not really, from what Alex said, what happened wasn’t really your fault.” Jessica said gently, reaching her hand out to gently touch yours. “Why’d you do it? Why did you take the fall for him?” She asked. Her tone wasn’t prying, it was genuine concern that you were surprised to find coming out of a girl you barely knew.

“It’s complicated.” You croak, sitting their drinks on the counter between them. “I have to get back to work.” A sniffle slipped out before you could stop yourself and mercifully they took their drinks and went to find a booth.

“Hey are you okay?” Skye asked from behind you. “How do you know those two? They weren’t around in your time.” 

“I don’t know them, but apparently they know me. They’re friends of Zach’s.” You admit to her. The pain of carrying all this around was starting to wear on you and you were tempted to just tell Skye everything. You steeled your reserve instead, excusing yourself. “I’m gonna go take my break, I’ll be out back.” You tell her, quickly opening the cabinet holding your belongings and heading out the back. By the time you got outside, the tears were pouring down your face, and it was all you could do to hold back a sob. This was going to be your life now. You were going to lose Zach just as you get him back. There was no way his mom would tolerate your presence in his life. If she was going to get that upset over a picture, then you didn’t want to see the reaction to the flesh and blood dark mark on his wrist. You force your face into your hands, pushing in hard enough that you see stars. 

“(Y/N), are you okay?” A voice says, causing you to pull your face from your hands, startled. You see a slender boy standing in front of you and it takes you a second to recognize him as Clay Jenkins.

“Clay?” You say, completely stunned. “What are you doing here?”

“I was riding by and I heard you crying.” He says simply and you can’t help to appreciate his straight forward nature. “I wanted to make sure everything was okay.” He stands awkwardly in front of you, clearly unsure of how to approach the situation.

“I’m fine, I’m fine. I’m just… dealing with a lot.” You tell him, trying to steady yourself. You wipe the tears, careful not to ruin your makeup any further. “I’ll be okay, promise. It’s good to see you how have you been?” You try changing the topic to anything but you but he presses on.

“I’m great, but you’re not. I know we haven’t been close in a very long time but I can’t just leave you here all upset.” He tells you. You smile at him, hoping your composure had returned to convince him but no such luck. A buzzing from your pocket distracts you and you quickly retrieve your phone.

“ **Hey, are you okay? Alex said he saw you today and you were upset.** ” Zach’s message read. Fresh tears filled your eyes as you type out a response, assuring him that you were fine and not to worry about you.

“Seriously Clay, I’m fine. I got all worked up over something that inevitably won’t matter. I’ll be okay, I promise.” You tell him unconvincingly. He looks you over concerned before your phone buzzes again. As you look back to the device, he pulls out his own, typing away furiously.

“ **Are you sure? I can come by if you need me to. May just got back from her lesson so I’m free for the afternoon.** ” You smile despite yourself at the offer but quickly type out a response insisting you were okay but that you couldn’t wait to see him after work.

“(Y/N), we’re having a bit of a rush, could you come back in for a little bit?” Skye says, peeking her head out of the back door you had come through. Her sudden appearance startles you and you quickly stand up, fanning your face before saying goodbye to Clay and heading back inside. Skye hangs back for a moment so you take the opportunity to splash some water on your face. She closes the door behind her and the two of you head back out into the front, her taking over the register and you busying yourself making coffee, grateful not to have to face anyone. When the rush dies down, you can only sigh in relief, sinking onto a milk crate on the floor to hide you from the rest of the cafe.

“What happened earlier?” Skye asked again, surprising you by handing you an iced chai tea. You’re tempted again to tell her everything, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to say the words that were breaking your heart. You were in love with Zach Dempsey, even after everything that happened and it wasn’t likely to ever go anywhere but into the ground. Instead, you shrug your shoulders at her, causing her to sigh in frustration. “You know I’m your friend right?” She reminds you. “You can tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m just struggling with being back.” You tell her sadly, allowing some amount of truth out.

“Is it because of Zach?” She asks bluntly and you look up at her in surprise.

“I mean, kind of?” You admit, the ache of doing so causing tears to prick your eyes.

“Did he do something to you? I can kill him if you need me to, I’d just need help hiding the body.” She assures you, pulling a milk crate close and sitting down on it to look you in the eyes. “Whatever you need, I’ve got you girl.”

“Can you go back in time and stop me from going to that stupid ass party?” You ask, laughing hollowly. “Because it ruined my fucking life and I’m not going to be able to fix it.” You kick a rolled up receipt in frustration. “Zach didn’t do anything wrong, by the way. He’s just as sweet and lovable as ever, maybe too much so.”

“Oh, so you’re still in love with him?” She asks gently, or as gently as she could. She almost seemed disgusted by the idea.

“To say the least.” You shrug, laughing hollowly again. “And it’ll never be able to go anywhere because I fucked everything up. His mom hates me. You know how important his family is to him. He seems to think he’ll be able to convince her otherwise but I always thought she never liked me in the first place. After everything that’s happened, I’m sure that just sealed it.” The truth flows out of you and it feels… freeing. “And, naturally, my mom hates him. She threatened to kick me out just for talking to him. I don’t know what to do.” Tears flowed freely and you looked up at her. “I don’t know what to do. I just… I don’t know.” You slump forward in defeat, crying into your knees. You hear Skye stand up and take an order, completing it and sitting back down.

“Why don’t you just tell your mom this? Tell her how much you’re hurting?” She suggested.

“I tried that.” You tell her. “When she first caught me texting him she was livid, I told her he and I had unfinished business and she told me I wasn’t allowed to see him while I was living under her roof.”

“You’re eighteen, you can just leave.”

“Skye I just got her back, I don’t want to lose her again.” You mourn. She’s silent for a moment before standing again, sharing hushed words with someone before returning.

“Zach’s here.” She tells you. Your eyes widen as you look at her, and then up at the counter to see him looking down at you sheepishly.

“Hey, I’m not done until 10:30, I’ll text you when I’m done.” You tell him, trying to wipe the tears from your eyes while simultaneously trying to seem composed.

“(Y/N), get out of here. I’ll cover for you.” Skye tells you plainly. 

“No, I can’t just leave.” You insist.

“(Y/N), go.” She tells you bluntly. You hang your head but collect your things and clock out.

“Are you sure?” You ask one last time before moving to the other side of the counter.

“Ask me again and I’m going to kick your ass.” She glares at you. Zach takes your hand and leads you around the counter, waving goodbye to Skye as the two of you left. He lets you into his car, throwing your bags into the back seat before climbing into his side.

“What are you doing here?” You ask him as he turns the engine over and waits for an opening to enter traffic. 

“You were upset.” He shrugs, seeing his opening and taking it smoothly. The buildings pass by you and soon Monet’s is pretty far in your rearview mirror. The silence between you is comfortable as usual and while you enjoyed it, it was simultaneously breaking your heart.

“I don’t know what to do.” You admitted, your voice almost non-existent. He puts his hand on yours in comfort and you can’t even look at him. You knew he would be looking over, eyes full of concern because that’s just the type of guy Zach was and you just couldn’t bear to have your heartbroken by the knowledge that it wouldn’t be forever.

“Babe, we’ll figure it out. I promise you. I’m not going to lose you again.” He says earnestly. You stare out the window, trying to fight back the doubtful thoughts that were clouding your mind.

“Alex told me your mom made you take down a picture that had me in it.” You told him, voice barren of any emotion. “You think she’s going to like that you’re hanging around me again?” It’s Zach’s turn to be silent. He pulls into a small parking lot, shutting the car off to look over at you.

“(Y/N), I love my mom, but I also love you. I’ll make her understand. Even if I have to… tell her.” You look up at him quickly, shaking your head. “This doesn’t need to be a secret anymore. It doesn’t matter. We need to put it in the past.” He presses on, not letting you interrupt.

“It’s my secret to share.” You hiss at him.

“No, (Y/N), it’s not. I’ve been carrying this guilt around for years, knowing what you did for us, what you did for me. I’ve had to listen to stupid jokes and sit there and listen to people that didn’t know the real story talk about you to me.”

“I think if we want to have a suffering olympics, I’ll be taking home the gold in that one.” You snarl. “What’s the point in telling anyone, they’re either not going to believe it or talk even more shsit. It makes no difference.” 

“Since when do you care about what people think?” Zach shot back, looking at you with almost a look of disgust on his face.

“I don’t! I just don’t want to hear anything more than I already do.”

“Let me help you.” Zach pleads, reaching for your hand. You pull it away, not letting him soothe you into compliance. “(Y/N) I love you. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything in my life. I just want to help you. You don’t have to carry this burden on your own. We can set the truth free and actually start to move on.”

You sit in silence, wanting to get out of the car, to scream and yell at him but deep down you knew he was right. “If we tell people, if the truth comes out, what happens to you?” You whisper. “What’s you’re mother going to think? Will she love me for protecting her precious boy?”

“I don’t care, I can handle it. No one is going to care about us doing shrooms when we were thirteen. Look I’m not saying let’s print an ad in the newspaper, but we could tell our parents.”

“My mother would utterly despise you even more than she already does. She already wants me to have nothing to do with you, she would probably be out for blood if she finds out.”

“I can handle it.” He assures you.

“If I keep seeing you, she’ll kick me out.” You press on. “She loves me but she’s already threatened me with it.”

“Talk to her, make her understand.”

“She’s not going to understand, she’s going to just think it’s some dumb middle school crush.”

“You can’t know if you don’t try.” He reminds you and you wonder to yourself when he got so wise.

“I can try, but I make no promises. You know this can only make things worse.” You concede.

“(Y/N), how much worse can it get? I already lost you. I’ve told you I won’t let it happen again.” He says sadly.

You look up into his eyes, seeing the complete love and adoration shining through them as he looked down at you. You feel your body moving close to him and then your lips were on his. The kiss was deep and longing, like you both were trying to make up for lost time. He pulled you close to him, moving around until he’s pulled you onto his lap. The kiss becomes fervent, like you’re both filling a need you didn’t know you had. His hands move under your shirt, and yours to his hair, and you feel his hips start gyrating into you. But as badly as you want to continue where this is going, you pull away from him and try to catch your breath.

“Not here.” You murmur against his lips as he tries to rejoin with you. He gives you a pout but ultimately concedes, relaxing back into his seat. You run your hand through his hair, distracting yourself with the soft texture to resist the urge to fall back into his kiss.

“We have to figure this out, soon.” He tells you, his voice husky. “I won’t let you go again.”


End file.
